Another Lesson Learned

Story of the day...
So as I was driving home tonight, I got pulled over for speeding. Okay I did something wrong, right? YEP!
Well here is where I'm frustrated... There was a person in front of me going a lot faster. The cop even brought it up himself, and I knew the right way to respond to this unfairness (is life fair?), "Officer I'm not going to bring up someone else's mistake and compare it to my own mistake." Was this hard to say or even hard to overcome my emotions? YECK YES! But it was a reality I had to face. We all too often want to pass the blame unto someone else or say, well that wasn't fair I deserve the same don't I? As I was driving home as I broke down- school/work/family/money everything that was physically and mentally wearing me down, but in the mist of it all I knew that I did something right today as hard as it was. In life we will face many obstacles, but somehow we overcome these obstacles, but it will be up to us as how we handle it.

It would be SO much easier to get mad at the officer, who pulled me over or the person ahead of me who didn't get a ticket for doing something wrong as well, but what good would that do for me or anyone else.

I need to take tonight's lesson and apply it my life. I need to find courage to speak my mind, but let go of the circumstances that don't matter. Lately it seems as if I am drained and physically exhausted (I hate to admit this/I want to be prefect) because I keep wanting to do everything to make this world a better place, but I have forgotten to start in the simplest, most basic way. Becuase of this exhaustion I have been moody and short with people, when that is hypocritical of my simple goal of creating peace and happiness in others. I'm truly sorry for this, but know I am trying so hard to do otherwise...

A part of me still wants fight this ticket(I am beyond stubborn), but it has become a learning lesson for me, and no it is not what one might think. I still want to be a race car driver someday, speeding is in my blood. ;) j/k (but maybe it is) HAHA

Learning as I go.

Somehow I always manage to get on this thought process of questions and concerns that keeps me in an annoying loop. I can't fathom the confusion I feel right now. Maybe it's because I feel like I should be doing more with my life, and there is this disheartening gap. I know for a fact that I have been on this road, smooth sailing for too long and the scenery is getting old. Somehow I need to find not a detour, but a whole new road to converse on. I don't want to miss the opportunities in life, because I'm afraid of taking a chance! How do we change roads with peace in our hearts that it's okay to let go and move on?

I can't grasp how many times this year people just gave up on fighting battles that were really worth fighting for. Don't we all "deserve" to wake up each morning happy for the day to come? I know in my heart everyone, and yes I say everyone deserves the chance at happiness! However, sometimes we hinder this from someone.... I dislike this very much!

If we aren't honest and truthful with one another we well never get there! Yet, I see, hear, and feel how often we lie, cheat and use others to get what we want. Just take a moment out of each day and do something small for someone else, and let me tell you it feels so much better than using someone.I can say many lonely days have loomed in my past, yet everyday I try my hardest to make the most of what I have and find to give some of that to someone else. I keep trying to understand, please forgive me if I'm sounding judgmental, how we can be so greedy and spiteful.

However, from my previous thoughts, I'm slowly learning that everyone grows up learning different values and beliefs, about what's right and wrong. Truthful it must be stated, there will never be a clear and justifiable list of such. It's just like the simple fact we all will never agree on anything, accept for the mere fact that we can agree that we will never agree. With all this mind, I'm learning that even though I see everyone should learn to give somehow, and not be so greedy, that some people were never taught to think or act in such a way. If I were to ask that everyone do so, I would be just as wrong, if not more so. I can say that I'm wiling to spend the rest of my life trying to show people such kind acts and teaching them other ways of life.

I can't change the world, but I can be the change I wish to see in the world.

Memories never go away

Well, I decided to start a blog, simply for the fact that I miss writing… And well it's about time I start again. Where I am in life one might ask, and well I would reply that I'm just learning to not keep looking onto the pass and knowing there will be many more chances in life ahead of me.

One can easily say though, the past never goes away… and no it doesn't. It simply becomes a part of who we are and who we want to be. So many times we want to get rid of our past mistakes or failures, that we search for ways to hide who we used to be, but in reality we never change our personalities, we only change habits and goals. When we so often try changing who we are (many times to trying to get others to notice us) we lose track of who we truly are.

Lately I have been thinking about this; why do want to change, and is it ever truly possible to change who we are? Is our personality innate? Of course, like any other aspect of life, there are so many questions with so little answers. However, this doesn't stop me trying to look deeper and find some sort of answer… Back to change, I can say for so very long that I've been in my own search of having a makeover of my personality. WHY THOUGH>>> Because I thought that for someone to like me, I had to change. NONSENSE!!!

EVERYONE LISTEN CAREFUL: We must learn to love and accept people for who they truly are.

* Stop trying to change people to fit your ideal friend, teacher, lover, boss… etc.

* Stop thinking you have to change for someone else as well.

When we meet someone new, it's hard to not want to change for them. But if we keep changing, no one is ever going to learn to love an individual for who they truly are.

I know Shakespeare had said, "All the world's a stage," and many sociologists would agree every moment we are upon someone else, that we put a certain act on. Maybe they are right, we have certain acts we have to play (daughter, teacher, employee, father, friend, wife….), but shouldn't through each of these roles, we still come out to be the same person? Tell me if I am wrong.

My memories stand dear in my heart, and through every role I encounter, I stay true to myself and others as well.

I'm excited to be writing again, as it used to be my own very scapegoat. This blog will be my new place to not vent, but to write the inspiring words of my heart, and motivate myself to become a more loving and giving person.

"The world changes according to the way people see it, and if you can alter, even by a millimeter, the way people look at reality, then you can change the world."
-James Baldwin